Things To Do Instead of Blogging

Remodel your guest bathroom. Strip wallpaper. Apply three coats of joint compound, sanding between each coat. Roll on a coat or two of primer, then two coats of paint. Paint the trim. Pull out the old toilet, countertop, and sink. Replace all of the plumbing and all of the fixtures. Sand down the old cabinet, then prime and paint. Ideally, your wife will do the hardest parts, particularly the parts that require patience and attention to detail.

Clean out the garage. You’ve been in that house for almost a year now. Isn’t it time to get at least one of the cars in the garage? Plus, there’s a really good chance that you’ll be bringing more stuff home after your next trip to Alabama.

Reformat your hard drive. Be sure to do it three times because you’re an idiot. Spend four hours reloading software. F—ing viruses.

Run. A Lot. Like, 25-30 miles a week. But first get a new pair of Asics Cumulus because Nike really screwed up the Pegasus with that redesign, and, I mean, you’ve got enough knee problems, right?

Get that grant project finished. I know it’s boring. I know it feels like work. But you’ve got $3000 coming to you, and that laptop won’t pay for itself.